A breathlessness that I can feel, while I think about you,
dawn to dusk I wait with unconfirmed fear in my eyes,
Wondering what the dawn has to offer, I sit with thoughts surrounded,
Its all a part of the game of the cards they play,
I stand the joker, that becomes a part of some of the entertainment,
For the rest, thrown into the corners with nothing to remember…
A dreaded feeling that creeps in, something I had never wished for,
Did I do the same mistake again, playing this game of love and trust,
Will I be the fool yet again, that I will blindfold the love for trust,
Those long forgotten promises, I stand by…
There is no escape, for I cant leave your side,
There is no retreat, for I cant let the promises go by,
There is no hope, for I can never gain the trust back again,
There is no way, for the tears have flooded every way…

One step a time, I know am getting over it,
The more you say that you need a little time,
The more I know I have the time to go away,
Today I feel lighter, with the wind in my direction.
Tomorrow I will be even better, when the divine waters take my way.
The fear that I will lose you will disappear,
The pain that I go through everyday will vanish,
After a hundred steps, I might shed a tear,
Not for the sadness that I will miss you,
But for my brave heart, that did indeed win over all my feelings…

Everyday am losing out on my sanity,
I ask myself When will everything be back to what it once was,
Will there ever be a day that will fade my bad memories,
Can the smiles ever return, Can the distances ever merge…
Will you ever read my silence, feel the pain through my eyes,
Would you ever be able to love me enough to bring an end to these sorrows,
Can you ever let go anything to bring me back my smiles,
Won’t there be that one day, when I really know you do care,
Will those words ever come from your heart, Those endless words that you never mean,
Never ending nights of tears, that heal itself every morning,
‘Coz nothing means more to me than you, your smiles,
Every time you say you’re Sorry, wonder why it hurts me more,
I close my eyes each time, telling myself, that probably this time its true,
Waiting for that one moment, when you really mean those words you say,
When you mean every ‘Sorry’ you utter, everytime you say you are mine,
Telling you can never leave me, ‘Coz I mean the world to you,
When all the while I know you mean not a word you say…

When I wanna break free, its that one promise that holds me back,
Everytime I take a step back, I know its a dark valley back there,
I stay there, eyes closed, waiting for those false promises again,
While all the while I know for sure, there is no way ahead,
I stay there, eyes closed, waiting for the waves to wash me ashore,
For those dreams you promised me, that I believed were true, to come to life,
those unkept promises, those broken words, those unworthy tears,
when I finally open my eyes, I realise I am in the calm of the mid-sea,
There is no land I see, neither do I see a sailing ship,
It was all a dream, the reality that makes me realise,
I can break free, I can let go, I can live my dreams,
Closing my eyes once again, I surrender to the waves,
My eyes still closed,I see the feeling sink,
I feel myself sink, Into the perfect melody of water waves…
Life isnt perfect, but probably fate is,
perfect enough to return the smile back on my face,
Perfect enought to make you realise, life isn’t all about broken promises,
Its all about the small truths, hidden tears and the brighter smiles…

Fate isn’t the perfect destiny, while life is perfectly planned,
While the only plan you ever have in life is Smile and Spread Smiles,
Today I stop at this endless journey of love,
rethinking the destiny, rethinking the fate,
remebering every smile that was ever fake,
reminding myself of my only ever plan.

Today I stand with just tears to share,
With eyes that have nothing but fears to bear,
Fear of losing the perfect fate,
Fear of smiling for the one I so love,
Its time for another plan, the perfect change in plan,
Tears for Smiles, like they say, War for peace,
Time to hide the tears, keep the smiles,
Keep the smiles alive, for the one I so love,

Its time to take a step back in life,
Its time to rewind a little, to the point where I had once stopped,
The journey called life, that I had wrongly planned,
Today I set thee free, to be a flying bird,
The nest may not be there, but the love is always around,
The touch may not be felt, but the warmth will always surround,
The smiles I may not share, but the heart always wants to see you smile…
Smile for me, Smile for the perfectly re-written fate 🙂

A soothing calm within the unstable me
out of the blue, a bit of elasticity she!
Glittering dreams so far to catch,
in the definite touch of her uncertainty.

Rules, laws, customs, moralities
expanding distance, suppressing dreams!
On one end raising envy,
aloof on another, is it steaming jealousy?

Sides have changed from her to me
lost she was then, now it is me!
Wishes and dreams, they played their part
Elevated so high, now sluggishly tearing apart.

The invisible bond, wish it was a lie,
wishes of an eternal romance, wishes strife!
It’s me the weird, it’s me the hated
but for her I am the special, yet scathed.

Moments of torments with a choked epiphany
of unspoken staring exchanges
of an unknown hope
of untoward expectations.

Infallible feeling of your sweet breath
a baffled melody that poked my heart
emotions spun like a poets renditions
of mysteriously passionate inhibitions.

Such intoxicating eyes
just to be in love with them;
A soulful wait I am in
like a wanderer waiting, for the destination.

Scattered I am as ever
for this wait is unending
the story of you and me
soaked up in a rattled destiny.

or would it be…a choked epiphany!

While I wonder…

Why do we hold on so tight when we really want to let go,
Why do we hurt ourselves when its less painful to let life pass by,
Why do we complicate life when its actually as simple as life itself,
Why do we try so hard to smile when its simpler to let the tears flow,
Why do we tell ourselves everythings gonna be fine, when we know its over…

– For your warmth,
– For your love,
– For your touch,
– For your smile,
– For a sound sleep,
– Coz I just can’t let go…

The gentle breeze brushed the leaf aside,
A purple-white face peeked from the greens,
I saw the leaf again, as the breeze calmed,
Another sip of coffee, as i waited for the face to smile,
There was no sign of the breeze now, the wait was long,
As I put down the cup, and walked into the greens,
I brushed the leaf aside, now with my hands,
And looked at the purple-white face, the look of innocence,
It was beautiful, I smiled as I picked it from the greens,
Wanted it with me, for the moment of smiles,
I held it close to me, and took it back to the coffee table,
I left the face, forgotten there, on the table,
Today I sit back with a book in my hand, again,
I see the face as I left it, just pale, very pale.
I see the greens, I saw the leaf again,
the gentle breeze brushed the leaf again,
not aside, i saw it fall, With the same gentleness,
Falling to the ground, still green, still young,
I saw the face again, That was all that was…
I walked to the greens, yet again,
I picked the leaf, walked with it back to the table,
Placed it with the face, in the book I was reading,
There it was, together, but not as they had to be,
But there they will be, always, both looking alike,
the green, the purple, the while, all as one,
not as gentle, not as beautiful, but they will be…
I looked back to the cup of coffee on the table,
It was untouched, cold…
I felt the breeze again, saw up to the greens,
There was another one, a purple-white, and a green,
I sat there watching it… That was all there could be,
The breeze that showed me the beauty,
another that showed me the fall of the beauty,
It was indeed, the Same breeze that was…

Scared he was
of few moments of disbelief
’cause it looked so real
fears that he didn’t want to dwell.
In her arms, ’twas a peaceful doze
’twas a different world
but that she vanished
was she there left him puzzled.
An old blind man finding his way
through a dispersed crowd,
a tall man who helped the blind man
on his shoulders happily sat the blind man.
A silent toddler, he was also there
walking in the crowd
the toddler in a flash
was right next to his face.
Is he the messenger, the silent toddler?
Is it that he has someone to take?
Was is reality? Was it fake?
’twas a decision to make.
Oh! he didn’t want to be taken
He felt he was separate
That’s when he rebelled, screamed and yelled
“No! Not now! Not now yet!”
He slept within a dream
yes, ’twas with her!
And then came the toddler, silent and closer
yes, he was scared of this dream.
Every dream has a message
“Wake up, you got things to do”
yes, that’s the toddlers message
“Shred you fears, find what you go to do!”

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